Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
