I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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