Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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