So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
