Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
