wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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