My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
