he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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