I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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