It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
