all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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