when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
