btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
