I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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