How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Best friends brother. Beat that.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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