Your tits are I can't wait for
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
