Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
