I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize