so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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