I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
