Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We left an ass print on the piano.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
