sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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