No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
