I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
barbara walters just said penis...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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