i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize