I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
