Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I CAN MOONWALK!
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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