3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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