I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Never underestimate the power of titties
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
