Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
