So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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