remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
