So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just invented taco cereal.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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