I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Text me some of your sweat
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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