Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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