god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
