so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
