Your mouth is God's brothel.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
