i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
