Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
