You made me cry and you don't even care
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
