oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
