But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
