We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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