I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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