Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
