Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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