no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Im part way to drunk.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
