he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
