Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize