i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize