He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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