were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
