i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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