I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
