I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize