Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
