I haven't been this sober since birth.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
