I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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