Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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