she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
