It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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