Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
