my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize