And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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