I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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