do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
