Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
