Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
