You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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