You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize