road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
