This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
