Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
