did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
