who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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