And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
only you would photoshop your dick
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
