can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just want nice things and good sex
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
