I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Welp...herpes.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Randomize
